To who it may concern,

I'm 27 year old woman who's been dating the same guy for the past 5 years. He keeps tell me that he's going to marry me but we still are not married.

We have 3 kids and he wants another because the 3 we have are all girls.

I love him and he says he love me too. I'm not sure what to do. I want to be married before I have anymore children and before I pass my prime.

Help.

Let me get this straight.  In three years you had three children

without benefit of a legal commitment from this man and you don't know what to do? You know what to do, just say no.  In fact say, Hell No. Let’s be real. Having one child, well maybe; having two children (even by the same man), an error in judgment? I don’t think so, but o.k. However, having three children is downright, stupid and contemplating yet another qualifies you for the Looney bin.  Where is your self-respect or absent that, concern for your children? I think you understand where this is going, don’t you?  The old people use to say, “Why buy milk, when the cow is free”. Before you get upset, I am not calling you a cow, I am simply saying he has no incentive to marry you, why should he.  With marriage come some of the very things you are giving him without a formal commitment (marriage). You don’t even have any legal standing and I can’t tell from your letter if your children do. You don’t indicate if you live together, if he is paying the bills, if he acknowledged paternity, if he’s a good father – none of the important things that would at least suggest some level of commitment and perhaps a tad of sense on your part.  So pardon me when I say, you appear to be (and I hope I am wrong) almost as trifling as he seems to be.  All you seem to be concerned about is getting married.  Shame on him and you if this is right.  If my initial reading of your situation is correct, the losers here are the kids in which case, perhaps you two really do belong together and maybe it’s the kids who need the help.  My advise to the children, run.