Hi,

I cheated on my girlfriend and had unprotected sex. I went to the clinic to get a test and it came back positive. I am really scared. I didn't tell my girlfriend yet though. She is gonna freak. I deserve it though and I hope she's not infected. I'm really really scared.

I don't know how to tell her but I know I need to.

OK, let’s take this from the top. You cheated on your girlfriend (bad), had unprotected sex (dumb), tested positive for some unknown sexually transmitted disease (no indication of what) but didn’t tell your girlfriend yet (dangerous and irresponsible) because you are scared. I don’t get it.

If you care about this girl, what choice do you have? Would you not want to be told if the situation was reversed? What does common sense tell you?  Let me answer that: Hell, yes, you need to tell her! And quickly. It could literally be the difference between life and death – hers and anyone else with whom she might have a future relationship (if you tested positive for HIV).

If it’s one of the other sexually transmitted diseases Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, etc. to name a few), her future is still potentially bleak.  Left to fester untreated, sexually transmitted diseases could result in debilitating illnesses, sterility, mental disorders and yes, death. What if she gets pregnant? Her child, possibly your child, could be born with a sexually transmitted disease. How scary is that thought?  Get the picture?

Do not wait, tell her now.  How you tell her, of course, is another issue.  If she is the violent type, do it in a quiet, but public place.

-Alberta